Celebrating in Southern Style

I was 13 when I realized that birthdays  are only as good as you make them. It was the day before my aunt’s wedding and the Randazza household was up in arms. I remember that week of my life with such clarity. It was the week Princess Di and Mother Teresa passed away. Being 13 (and already fully matured into teen angst), I felt the entire world, in spite of the wedding and the tragedies, should have been focused all on celebrating my transition into my adolescence and instead everyone forgot.

So, as I said I remember the week with complete clarity, but I’ll take into consideration my moodiness and complete brattitude at this age which may or may not have altered my thinking…anyway. Moving on.

My aunt’s rehearsal dinner at my grandparents house, and the day was coming to a close. I was on the phone with my mom (who was in Alabama while I was in Massachusetts for the wedding) crying. I couldn’t believe I was completely forgotten. FORGOTTEN. And then my grandmother came into the room and asked me to come into the kitchen. I waffled back and forth and sobbed as I walked with her into the kitchen. And there it was — presents and a birthday cake. A shared birthday cake…you see, it was the best man’s birthday, too.

In retrospect I should have been more gracious (and I am very much so 12 years later). But then I remember thinking, “Ugh, why did they wait all day? And a SHARED birthday cake?!” I was outraged and hurt.

And that’s when I got the talk that changed the way I think about birthday’s forever.

Appreciate the gifts your friends and family give you.  But be sure to celebrate that which is you.

It was a combination of my mom and my grandmother that told me that birthdays are only as good as the birthday person makes them. Birthdays rest entirely on the birthdayee’s shoulders, and they’re fooling themselves if they believe someone else will plan it for them or ensure that they have a great day. It’s THEIR birthday. THEIR responsibility.

I remember every birthday since then (with the exception of one for extenuating circumstances) as being incredible. Because I made them that way.

Since then my mom will ask me each birthday, “Jess, is the sun shining right now? Because it’s shining for you. Did you get to see the shore (or whatever natural wonders surround me at the time) today? You get to see that because it’s your birthday. YOU get to see great things on your birthday, that’s LUCKY.”

So when I started thinking about my what I wanted to do for my birthday, I thought about the things that make me happy and I landed on one thing — I love being southern. So for my birthday I’ll be celebrating in Seattle this weekend, with southern hospitality and southern food. So gather ’round friends and join me as we celebrate (at least for today) me.