Everyone has an opinion, and unfortunately people are allowed to think whatever they want. It’s just you might not always agree with them or want to hear what they have to say. And after my most recent blog post, a number of family, friends and colleagues all decided to provide their thoughts.
(Scene opens. Me on my computer at work. Doing, well, work. IM from a peer I know from the online space pops up.)
Random Peer: Well, Jess, I just read your blog, and I have to say. It’s pretty….um. Bo-ring. I just e-mailed you what you wrote and what I think you should write. You need more color. More pizazz.
(Gmail refreshes. Friend’s e-mail enters the stage. It reads:)
2. Compete When Necessary, Collaborate When You Can
Competition is obviously important for a business environment to continue to thrive and remain relevant, but in the interest of continuing to grow the field….
(E-mail continues with a paste from #2 on my previous post. He continues.)
Here’s how you could have written the same thing – it’s the same thing but without the social media expert tone of the month club applied to it:
2. Don’t be a social media douche bag.
While the social media community is very “me”cetric and “hey look at what I’m doing!” and you can put videos of your damned kids smacking you in the babymaker with a bat on their birthday (everyone is wearing birthday hats to make it all real), you have to connect, not spamming the snot out of your 32 Facebook friends. Build and share great ideas or at least hit around the proverbial great idea ball of stuff into each other’s babymaker – some of it works, some doesn’t. So this will mean more work for you, it will require you to be more proactive and you’ll have to be nicer and read other people’s crap and you’ll need to comment and link and not hide behind your Mac at Starbucks. It will keep the industry flourish AND potentially give you a competitive advantage on your competitors or at least make you some new friends and maybe you’ll even find that special someone.
(After reading I feel embarrassed. I return to our IM exchange.)
Me: Yeah, that’s not my style.
RP: That’s exactly it, Jessica, you don’t have a style. You’re lacking in personality. It’s, just so matter-of-fact.
Me: I’m busy.
Whether he was right or not, I didn’t care to hear it, and I was busy. Besides, I routed it through Kristy, Peter and Chris (due to some angst that occurs for a millisecond prior to posting some of my blogs and feel like I need affirmation…yes, it is something I’m working on and getting over) who all told me it was on point and good content.
And as far as it being subpar, well, I had already received candid comments through a DM from Mona telling me the post was too long, my mother telling me it didn’t make sense, and Brian telling me it was lacking…personality. Brian also said, “You can’t hit a home run everytime, Jess. Sometimes there are just bad calls.”
Believe me, I know “bad calls” thanks to John Sterling.
Then I got a knock on my office door.
(Enter co-worker from advertising)
Advertising Dude: Jess, I saw your blog. And I was thinking. It could use a spruce.
Me: Are you kidding me? You’re literally the seventh person to comment on my much needed blog overhaul.
AD: Well. Um. Do you have pen and paper?
(He begins to draw a mock-up of scripty ‘Jessica Randazza’ and raspberries.)
(He stops and looks at me with satisfaction and puts down the pen.)
AD: You see what I mean?
Me: Sheesh. I have to work.
But after so many comments, I couldn’t help but think that there is something lacking, and clearly something needs to be changed.
If so many people that care about me personally and professionally are taking time to comment and give their feedback, there HAS to be something lacking. And, well, I’m inclined to believe that something may just be…well…me. Work. In. Progress. In blogging, it’s called, “Finding Your Voice.” I’ll find it, because I feel like I have a lot to say. And I’ve said it once before, and I’ll say it again. I mean it this time. I’m going to make you fall in love with me online.
(Scene ends. Stage opens to a clear and new beginning.)
For what it’s worth, my mom has told me on numerous occasions that she doesn’t like my blog at all.
Every blog does need to find its voice, though – you’re right. Even as someone who’d written 2000 posts on my previous site, it took me about 20 to figure out what my current one was all about.
I’d say write what you want to, not what you think will make other people react well, or get traffic/links/RTs, or whatever. Also, more of the “Brian Spaeth” tag.
The only thing worse, I think, than being a blogger in terms of getting inundated with well-meaning but often contradictory or useless feedback, is being a UI designer: everyone opines about color choice, positioning, wording, etc.
My sole advice would be that you identify (as it sounds like you’ve already done) 1-3 people whose opinions you seek out, listen to their feedback, and do what seems right to YOU, ignoring all others politely. We’re all learning and growing in the act of writing. But too much feedback gets to be really frustrating, demoralizing, and counterproductive.
If I really made the grammatical error you published – then, you should fix this:
“It will keep the industry flourishing AND potentially give you a competitive advantage on your competitors or at least make you some new friends and maybe you’ll even find that special someone.”
Nice post. I never say ‘matter-of-fact’. Grey hyper-links are tough to see btw.
This is a great post, I personally don’t have any issues w/ your blog, but have gotten plenty of comments on my own (often contradictory).
Even better I know plenty of people who are concerned about starting their own blog because they’re concerned how they’ll come off/sound or having enough to say in an interesting fashion that anyone else would like to read.
Your post here really shows that, no, it’s not all unicorns and skittles, that there is a learning curve and it will take some time and that all along the way you’re going to hear it from all sides, even from people you don’t know — no one’s alone in this process.
Finding my blogging voice is an issue I struggle with as well! I just started my own, and reading that you face similar hurdles is refreshing. Thank you!
Thanks, Loren. I pulled your comment directly from your e-mail, but I’ll make the edits accordingly. And “matter-of-fact” may or may not have paraphrased something you said with a bit more …what’s the word….color.
I’ll work on the hyperlinks. Thanks for your candid feedback, it’s appreciated.
I like your blog just fine! Maybe it’s because I met you well before I met your blog.
Your writing is what matters to me. Colors are just fluff. 
I’m also new to blogging and at times wonder what exactly my “voice” is. Thank you for being so frank about the challenges of a new blogger.