This weekend I made the trek to celebrate my 10-year high school reunion from Homewood High School located in Homewood, AL – my hometown nestled in an area south of Red Mountain, and to locals, lovingly named the suburb community “over the mountain”. It was an exceptional place to grow up, with all the resources and experiences that you think of with a suburban Southern town including overwhelming pride for the stand out athletes, an active PTA, open markets with handmade crafts on weekends, high-end boutique shopping, a renowned marching band that has played in the Macy’s Day more times than any other band outside of New York (true fact), and even a day dedicated each May to the city called (drumroll please)….”We Love Homewood Day”. Again, it was such a wonderful place to grow up.
Having the typical devastating high school experience as anyone else, with mean girls and heartbreak dispensed from boys like vending machines, I fully anticipated angst to swell as the even drew closer. And while at home visiting over the Christmas holidays, I spoke with a classmate about our expectations.
My best friend forever from high school/growing up: Are you excited to see anyone at the reunion, or nervous to see (….let’s call them Kevin and…Maria) Kevin and Maria?
To give you a bit of background, Kevin is one of those vending machines that I’ve a mild crush on for no shorter than 15 years, and while I’ve seen him dozens of times since our graduation (including college and beyond) and we’ve become really great buddies, the smile and soft spoken Southern charisma still get me verklempt each time. Maria is one of the most incredibly talented/traveled/brilliant women that I’ve been awestruck by for more than a decade (aka A little competitive with). Side note: Neither made it to the reunion.
Me: I think it will be cool to see everyone, but let’s be real, ever since they created our graduating class group on Facebook, I kinda know what everyone’s up to. At least have access to look if I feel so inclined.
MBFFFHS/GU: Yeah, I guess that’s true. And you come home often enough to check in with the people that are still here.
Me: It’s actually a bit of a bummer, don’t you think? To have that wonder of what people look like, or if they’re married, or what they’re doing taken away because of Facebook?
MBFFFHS/GU: If you were that interested you’d stay in touch regardless of a social network, Jess.
Me: I know, you’re right. But wasn’t that part of the appeal pre-’04? Now instead of “what have you been doing in the past 10 years?” it’s more, “how was that dinner on Thursday?”
MBFFFHS/GU: (rolling her eyes) Oh geez.
Admittedly, I spend very little time trolling over Facebook profiles, but seeing bits and pieces pass through my newsfeed over the past several years, I had a good enough sense as to was going on with most folks, with a couple surprises thrown in from folks that don’t have Facebook or don’t update regularly (yes, it’s true, those people exist). But those that I did know a bit about because of technology helped make the conversation richer – we could skip over all the superficial questions and get to meatier conversation much more quickly with some folks I plan to stay in better touch (in all likelihood through Facebook) with as a result.
Hall-Kent (my elementary school, there were 3 in my hometown) Graduates
So what about you? Have you felt social networks steal surprise or beat the punch? Or have you been able to leverage them for deeper conversation at events?
When my 10-year came up a few years back I had every intention of going, and as I purchased my ticket my excitement to show that that weird long-haired, Hawaiian-shirt-wearing quiet awkward kid had actually done some unique stuff since leaving Mississippi. However, as your HSBFF put it, the people I wanted so badly to get in the same room 10 years later I already kept in touch with, and via FB I quickly learned that literally ALL of my friends that I still kept up with would be passing on the trip home for scheduling, financial, or other reasons (general lack of interest). I THEN found out that the ONLY girl I hated throughout HS was coming from AFRICA of all places to once again annoy the crap out of me. I promptly cancelled my ticket and my HS friends and I suggested across the system of tubes that is the internet that a 15-year reunion might be more practical.
-on a side note, the following year I happened upon the HHS class of 2000′s reunion when I was in town and had a blast. However in retrospect, their class sucked way less than mine did as a whole.
So to answer your question, no. I did not feel beaten to the punch. What I learned is that social networking just helped me bypass a likely disappointing reunion. ALSO it made me realize that I, like my friends, had left our town harboring little nostalgia and more a press towards the future. It would appear that while the first step was to stay in touch after HS, which FB allowed us to do. The second (and more important for me) is that I can’t depend on a HS reunion to bring me face-to-face with the people I enjoy being around, that’s something we have to seek out ourselves…leading me to the conclusion that social networks are IN THE PROCESS of cleaning up interpersonal relationships and trimming the fat so we can more easily identify the relationships that are worth traveling to maintain in person from the rest.