I’ve always struggled with cutting myself slack and learning to accept my mistakes by taking each one as a learning opportunity. Typically in reaction to major errors, I knee jerk and lose control…which inevitably means I make more mistakes. I call it cyclical suffering, which feels like the adult version of teen angst.
After my most recent “cyclical suffering” attack endured longer than usual, I headed over to my favorite coffee shop to try take a step back. I sat there with my laptop open (iChat, Gchat, Tweetdeck, Facebook, work/personal e-mail all running), my iPhone abuzz with text messages, and blaring music, and asked myself: Why did it seem that errors were occurring more frequently, and the cycles lasting longer? What lesson did I not seem to be learning!?
Then, when another IM popped up on my screen (in addition to the six already in progress), it hit me hard. Burying my shame with information overload/work was NOT going to solve my problem. I needed recovery time and spend some time alone thinking about how I could learn from my mishaps. No amount of IM convos or blogs were going to help end the cycle, I needed to get there myself.
After realizing the solution was so simple, I slammed my laptop shut and headed out to my car. Threw my computer and iPhone in my trunk (because it’s the only way I can’t use it while driving, and yes, I am that addicted) and began to meander through Seattle. The tension in my shoulders and neck melted, it had been days since the cycle started, and only minutes since I disconnected. Life off the grid helped me find the clarity I needed.
Life is learning. It only gets sweeter with major life lessons. Accept and move on.
Have you ever felt engulfed in flames due to a few of life’s lessons? What did you do to get back on track?
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Hey Jessica,
I’ve been through now more than I could possibly have comprehended at your age. I’ve kept in mind Vince Lombardi’s statment:
I suggest that you don’t judge yourself on specific accomplishments: wage, position, friends, etc. Judge yourself on who you are; what your character is. When you fail, (yes you will fail most of the time) be proud of how you fail. Every time I see the fail whale I think of “Fail Well” and remind myself to dream large.
When you succeed (yes, you will succeed) reflect on the luck, love, and kindness that helped you along the way, and enjoy it. You did it. Enjoy it.
I think your idea of turning off the distractions is good. In fact I suggest making it a daily occurance. 30 minutes in the morning in some sort of meditation or prayer works well.
Every so often through out the day, every day, stop. Breathe. And be.
I’ve enjoyed your missives and am sorry you’re leaving Seattle. I’m sure it will be good for you though.
All the best.
“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.”
Buddha
Everyone has been engulfed at some point and if they haven’t than it means they are not trying. The only way to learn is to experience. It isn’t always easy. It’s not about leading a perfect life but indifference to life when it’s not perfect that will result in staying engulfed.
Life is one big test. Learning is living.
Excellent post here, Jessica.
I think that in an age where so much information can essentially consume our lives, it’s important to go off the grid and get refocused. I’m sure you heard the story about the mother whose two-year-old child drowned because she was on Twitter extensively. It was just one example, but I’m sure it got people thinking just how much a social networking site (or the broader Internet in general) can affect and dominate our lives.
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