There are countless songs, movies and novels centered around feeling bad and making mistakes, so I won’t tell you that the way I’m feeling right now is unique. But, after a unfortunate set of circumstances, I can say with absolute conviction that I feel like a total Debbie Downer and don’t like it one bit.
Now, I recognize that’s extremely vague and, forgive me, but I won’t delve deeper into my issues or guilt in this post. That would bore you, anyway. What I can say is when you (and by “you” I mean me) feel bad (especially in areas that mean the most), it spills over into every aspect of your life, and it’s hard to dig yourself out.
Feeling bad can have tremendous impact on your friends, family, work and the way that you communicate. So with that said, I turn to you. I’m seeking your best advice.
How do you ensure that you’re communicating effectively in during personal crisis?
How do you silo out your life to ensure that work-related issues aren’t paralyzing parts of your personal life and vice versa?
Sorry, Jessica…
I tend to compartmentalize things and sometimes it can be a bad thing, but I find that in tough times it lets me push through, enough at least to let me deal with work and personal issues at the right time and place.
So, from 8-6 (or 8-8, or 9-5, etc), you become Jessica Randazza, PR extrodinaire, all business with no personal issues and from 6 on, you are just Jessica, free from work stress (yes, that means unplugging).
Works for me, anyway. Good luck.
Hate to sound simplistic, but for me exercise is always the answer.
Not much you can do except compartmentalize, as Jacob noted. Also, you could go see 2012 and shut your brain off for awhile.
Last summer I was dealing with a number of really hard things in my life. Once school started I found it really difficult, almost impossible to focus and study. What i found helped me was doing physical exercise. I started running alot, and picked up skateboarding again. When things were weighing down on me so hard I could barely breathe let alone study, I would run around Greenlake, or go down to the skate park for an hour or so. Once my endorphins got going and my adrenaline was pumping my mind just went blank. Afterwords I felt so good about being active and healthy that those positive feelings balanced out the negative… at least enough to let me get on with my life.
I don’t know if this is something that you’re doing already, or if you even have time in your schedule. definitely worked for me though!
It’s hard. Really hard.
The best thing that I’ve found (and this is just me, so take it for what it’s worth) is simply starting small and taking a set hour period after work and just doing something that I know is good for me (doing my grocery shopping, gym, happy hour with non-work friends) and saying that I’m not going to think about work for that period of time. That’s the keeping work out of your real life part.
The keeping real life out of work is harder these days because I’m still so connected to my outside life even when I’m sitting at my desk. I’m a thinker, so turning it “off” for me with anything is hard sometimes.
Hope things ease up for you.
Cheers,
Ron
I know it can be overwhelming and extremely hard. While I find exercise also works wonders to clear out problems in your mind, one simple step is to do something selfless for someone else. Anytime a person feels bad about something, all it takes is a simple random act of kindness to turn around someone else’s day and your own thoughts. It’s amazing the feeling one gets from helping others. Buying a cup of coffee for the stranger in line behind you, helping a senior citizen carry something out of the store, or simply opening the door for someone can have wonderful mood enhancing effects.
Check out http://www.bekind365.com for some stories and even more ideas.
Just posted up something on my blog that might help you out.
All the best.
http://wp.me/pC2j5-4P
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by JessicaRandazza: Seeking your advice in a new blog post: http://bit.ly/3Tt3r3...
You’ve already taken that first big step to feeling better: realizing that you are down and want to feel better. Everyone has their own ways of dealing with crisis. Some people sleep, some people exercise, some people throw themselvers into some other project, some people talk it out, etc. I usually have to try a few different ones to see what’s going to work for me at any given time. And, as always, lean on your friends and family that you can trust and are there for you even if you want to be vague about it. Just reassuring yourself that your support network is still there can be comforting. That’s what they (we) are there for.
Thank you all for your kind words. I’ll be taking a long, long run tonight and focusing my efforts on what I love to do the most — work. After a good night’s rest, I hope to be restored in no time. We shall see.
I’ve had many a shitty day over the years and I’ve found three things work well in handling the stress.
1) Connecting with your friends for support. That’ll take you part-way.
2) Considering all the things for which you are truly grateful (this shifts your focus from the bad stuff you can’t control and balances out your overall perspective).
3) Actively thinking about action steps (short-term “what can I do today to make this better” and longer-term “what are my overall goals”) to get you out of the situation causing the unhappiness.
Sounds a bit over-thought but I am a huge believer that life is super-short and I hate spending too much time in unhappy places.
Exercise is a GREAT mood-adjuster (those endorphins) but I find that to become happy, I need more than mood adjustment – I need to fix or change what I can.
Just my $0.02.
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