Neil Sedaka said it best in 1962, “breaking up is hard to do,” and with today’s technology and constant lines of communications to our former flings and romances, it doesn’t seem to be getting any easier.
Last year I went through a break up with someone I had dated for awhile that was also in the digital/social media communications field. The dissolve (and resolve) felt nearly impossible, as I was connected to him through endless online and social channels (and clicking the “cancel relationship” button on Facebook felt like torture — thank goodness they recently corrected that from being amplified to your network).
But unfriending him in each medium could only take me so far — I could still voyeur his networks and find out where he was, who he was with, what he was doing. And with new services like Ark, the ability to keep tabs and constant access felt like a road block in the healing, a constant ripping of the Band-Aid over my heart, and I had to promise myself to stop looking and temporarily block in the platforms where I could.
A few months later I started dating again, teasing myself with my friends about dating someone in the industry. “I don’t want to date someone who has a Twitter or Foursquare account,” I’d say, “or who cares about my Klout score.” And my friends would tease me back, and wish my luck in my dating endeavors.
And since then, I’ve held pretty true to that pledge, and regretted introducing some of those guys to Foursquare as a way to keep up with one another. However, because each of them were out of the industry, and new to the service, they each soon abandoned the platform seemingly expediting the healing process.
But even with location based services, and microblogging, and social networks out of the way, technology still has amplified relationship adjournment with the ability to constantly be connected through mobile devices.
I doubt I’m alone with the late night/angsty text to a recent ex or even to a friend you’re arguing with. Having the ability to knowingly and within seconds put a heartfelt “I miss you,” or “let’s reconsider” message directly in to their hand, it’s a desire that is nearly impossible to ignore. It’s unbelievable that technology has provided those allowances — the constant ability to stay in touch….if only Sedaka knew the trials of today’s relationship disbands.
What about you? Have you ever struggled with the break up or argument with a friend and extended or complicated it because of technology? What did you do and how did it make you feel?