|
|
Even though I’ve worked in the digital space for years, I’ve touted for a long time that I’m better in real life. That I’m wittier, quicker, more articulate, and sassier. That my online personality can only capture so much, and that I only provide it so many allowances.
I’ve preached that if you distribute all your worth digitally, what’s the value in getting to know you (this holds true for brands, too) personally. I’ve also held meetups and networking groups that never publish guest lists, and encourage guests to go a full five minutes before asking the other attendees about their professional or digital lives at the hope of cultivating more meaningful and interesting conversation. I don’t Google people I know I’m going to be meeting in my personal life in advance, I want to give them the chance to tell their own story and have real conversations. I’m passionate about real conversations.
Today I attended TechCrunch Disrupt, thanks to a comped pass from Michael Arrington himself. Having never met him in person, I was eager to make the real world connection that I value so much. Heading backstage I had a list a mile long of things I wanted to chat with, from the Facebook IPO to his current job title on LinkedIn (which makes me laugh) to branded experiential technologies that we’re making at Supertou.ch to life out in Seattle. I prepped myself with chockablock quips and insights, so that the real life conversation would be sure to impress this guy that has impressed me digitally for years.
And when I finally met him, I had nothing. Like, nothing. Awkward as awkward gets. Stage fright/deer in the headlights kind of awkward. And I walked away with a sudden disheartening realization — maybe I am better professionally online…at least on the introduction/first impression stage.
So how do you remedy that kind of set back? How do you make your first [professional] impression meaningful when content preparation isn’t where you fall short?
Recently I read an opinion piece in the New York Times called, “The Flight From Conversation,” that struck a chord, as I’m sure it does for many of us. It highlighted the current state of our “always on” culture –the seeming need for constant digital connectivity while sacrificing RL conversation for mere connection. And the timing of the article, aligned with a trip home, couldn’t have been more on target.
For years my visits home have yielded the same displeasure and comments from my family, “Do you really NEED to be on your phone ALL the time?” or as I’m furiously e-mailing/tweeting/texting, my mom will chime in with a comment lathered in guilt, “I’m sorry, am I interrupting you? I’ll wait.”
Unfortunately, I’ve had the bad habit for years of pulling my cell phone out in the middle of conversation or leaving it on the table during meals. For many people, it is obnoxious and insulting – and I will admit it is obnoxious to me too.
I’ll never forget one Christmas I came home for the first time in over a year, and while having dinner with my mom at our favorite sushi restaurant I pulled out my iPhone. The expression in her face I’ll never forget — it was disappointment, disgust, anger, and hurt all at once.
“Jessica!” she yelped. “Do you REALLY have to do that now?”
“MOM!” I responded like a bratty adolescent. “I am WORKING.”
I don’t remember exactly what I was doing, but I’m almost certain it wasn’t worth the sacrifice of the conversation with my world’s favorite person, and someone I so infrequently get face time with. It’s insulting, and degrading. (Mom, you know I love you and think you’re perfect. I’m sorry for being rude).
My friend Jordana wrote a post a couple weeks back, about her phone being her “fourth utensil”. The idea that it’s become socially acceptable to leave your phone on the table, for check-ins, photos, sharing, getting deals for restaurants, etc. And while I get what she’s saying, I HATE that this is acceptable. In fact, it infuriates me, and I’m one of the biggest offenders.
Why do we do this? What is so important on Instagram and Facebook that it’s worth forfeiting facetime (the real version, not the iPhone imposter)? How do we remedy this fear we’re missing something if we don’t get push notifications for our friend’s Foursquare check-ins?
After the NYT piece was published, Jordana shared it out to her Facebook network along with her POV.
“Good reminder that real talk > digital sips. Especially love this: “And then they put their earphones on. ‘Big ones. Like pilots. They turn their desks into cockpits.’ With the young lawyers in their cockpits, the office is quiet, a quiet that does not ask to be broken.’”
Couldn’t agree more.
Interestingly enough, I have found folks that are most renowned in the social/online space to be the most engaging in real life. I can’t remember a single in person conversation I’ve had with Micah Baldwin, Dennis Crowley, Scott Beale, Matthew Inman, Gary Vaynerchuk, Peter Ha or any of those guys distracted by their devices. They’re present, and engaging, conversational and attentive. I have to believe that’s one of the reasons why they’re so successful.
So, I’m reclaiming conversation. For the month of May (just because I’m better at committing when I have a definitive time frame), I’m going to make it my resolution to be more present, to leave my device in my bag for meals with friends and family, to participate and engage, and to remember and follow up.
So, what do you say? You in to take back the IRL conversation?
This weekend I made the trek to celebrate my 10-year high school reunion from Homewood High School located in Homewood, AL – my hometown nestled in an area south of Red Mountain, and to locals, lovingly named the suburb community “over the mountain”. It was an exceptional place to grow up, with all the resources and experiences that you think of with a suburban Southern town including overwhelming pride for the stand out athletes, an active PTA, open markets with handmade crafts on weekends, high-end boutique shopping, a renowned marching band that has played in the Macy’s Day more times than any other band outside of New York (true fact), and even a day dedicated each May to the city called (drumroll please)….”We Love Homewood Day”. Again, it was such a wonderful place to grow up.
Having the typical devastating high school experience as anyone else, with mean girls and heartbreak dispensed from boys like vending machines, I fully anticipated angst to swell as the even drew closer. And while at home visiting over the Christmas holidays, I spoke with a classmate about our expectations.
My best friend forever from high school/growing up: Are you excited to see anyone at the reunion, or nervous to see (….let’s call them Kevin and…Maria) Kevin and Maria?
To give you a bit of background, Kevin is one of those vending machines that I’ve a mild crush on for no shorter than 15 years, and while I’ve seen him dozens of times since our graduation (including college and beyond) and we’ve become really great buddies, the smile and soft spoken Southern charisma still get me verklempt each time. Maria is one of the most incredibly talented/traveled/brilliant women that I’ve been awestruck by for more than a decade (aka A little competitive with). Side note: Neither made it to the reunion.
Me: I think it will be cool to see everyone, but let’s be real, ever since they created our graduating class group on Facebook, I kinda know what everyone’s up to. At least have access to look if I feel so inclined.
MBFFFHS/GU: Yeah, I guess that’s true. And you come home often enough to check in with the people that are still here.
Me: It’s actually a bit of a bummer, don’t you think? To have that wonder of what people look like, or if they’re married, or what they’re doing taken away because of Facebook?
MBFFFHS/GU: If you were that interested you’d stay in touch regardless of a social network, Jess.
Me: I know, you’re right. But wasn’t that part of the appeal pre-’04? Now instead of “what have you been doing in the past 10 years?” it’s more, “how was that dinner on Thursday?”
MBFFFHS/GU: (rolling her eyes) Oh geez.
Admittedly, I spend very little time trolling over Facebook profiles, but seeing bits and pieces pass through my newsfeed over the past several years, I had a good enough sense as to was going on with most folks, with a couple surprises thrown in from folks that don’t have Facebook or don’t update regularly (yes, it’s true, those people exist). But those that I did know a bit about because of technology helped make the conversation richer – we could skip over all the superficial questions and get to meatier conversation much more quickly with some folks I plan to stay in better touch (in all likelihood through Facebook) with as a result.
 Hall-Kent (my elementary school, there were 3 in my hometown) Graduates So what about you? Have you felt social networks steal surprise or beat the punch? Or have you been able to leverage them for deeper conversation at events?
Neil Sedaka said it best in 1962, “breaking up is hard to do,” and with today’s technology and constant lines of communications to our former flings and romances, it doesn’t seem to be getting any easier.
Last year I went through a break up with someone I had dated for awhile that was also in the digital/social media communications field. The dissolve (and resolve) felt nearly impossible, as I was connected to him through endless online and social channels (and clicking the “cancel relationship” button on Facebook felt like torture — thank goodness they recently corrected that from being amplified to your network).
But unfriending him in each medium could only take me so far — I could still voyeur his networks and find out where he was, who he was with, what he was doing. And with new services like Ark, the ability to keep tabs and constant access felt like a road block in the healing, a constant ripping of the Band-Aid over my heart, and I had to promise myself to stop looking and temporarily block in the platforms where I could.
A few months later I started dating again, teasing myself with my friends about dating someone in the industry. “I don’t want to date someone who has a Twitter or Foursquare account,” I’d say, “or who cares about my Klout score.” And my friends would tease me back, and wish my luck in my dating endeavors.
And since then, I’ve held pretty true to that pledge, and regretted introducing some of those guys to Foursquare as a way to keep up with one another. However, because each of them were out of the industry, and new to the service, they each soon abandoned the platform seemingly expediting the healing process.
But even with location based services, and microblogging, and social networks out of the way, technology still has amplified relationship adjournment with the ability to constantly be connected through mobile devices.
I doubt I’m alone with the late night/angsty text to a recent ex or even to a friend you’re arguing with. Having the ability to knowingly and within seconds put a heartfelt “I miss you,” or “let’s reconsider” message directly in to their hand, it’s a desire that is nearly impossible to ignore. It’s unbelievable that technology has provided those allowances — the constant ability to stay in touch….if only Sedaka knew the trials of today’s relationship disbands.
What about you? Have you ever struggled with the break up or argument with a friend and extended or complicated it because of technology? What did you do and how did it make you feel?
Each year I eagerly await and anxiously plan my annual trips to Austin, TX for South by Southwest, known for being the cat’s meow of all nerd conferences. Where brands, marketers, technologists, and innovative startups intersect. The intensity and caliber of innovative technology and services that come out each year leave me in a head spin for months, trying to reconnect and stay close to those brilliant minds so I can personally watch their ideas expand and erupt. It was, for a time, hands down an experience unlike any other I’ve ever had in my life.
After starting a new gig only a month before SX, my lead time for planning and scheduling was significantly shorter than typically preferred, and somehow I didn’t even make it on the Mashable VIP list (I’m kidding,…sort of.) because I couldn’t get my ducks in a row fast enough. And the more I researched SX, the more I felt my days slip away down one rabbit hole after the next. One event lead to another to another panel, to an offsite event 12 miles away, and don’t forget the mixer, and the BBQ, and the wine event, and the….
…I was completely exhausted before I even stepped foot in to Austin. I knew this event that I had held so close as a tight community, a place to re-connect, had shifted into something much different and larger. I knew it wasn’t going to feel the same, and no amount of planning was going to change that.
So, I headed with my business partner down (and first time SX’er) to Austin, with enthusiasm and optimism, giving him the best tips a veteran possibly could.
“Don’t feel like you have to be everywhere, because you won’t…” “Be sure to make time for panels that you really think are interesting…” “Spend some time where the startup folks are hanging out and just soak up their energy…” “Pace yourself…” “Drink lots of water…” “Take naps when you need to…”
But when we stepped of the plane, none of that mattered. This event had become massive to epic proportions that were unfathomable. Brands, startups, social media gurus, and marketers everywhere. And every-so-often I ran a veteran geek or technologist, with their eyes wide and clear they were clearly as confused as I was by the scale of what this event had become.
Random Industry Person I only see at SX But Love: Jessica, I’m leaving early. This is insanity. It doesn’t feel like I can derive any value from something that’s become…..so……so saturated.
Me: Oh, c’mon! It was inevitable. They all wanted a taste of awesome, I can’t blame them I guess. I just think it feels worse because of the rain.
 credit: Mashable.com Let it be known that it DOWNPOURED for the first two days keeping everyone in the entire universe tucked in doors making everyone feel a little tinge of “The Shining” attitude. Note: It wasn’t a good look on Jack Nicholson, and it wasn’t a good look on SXSW goers, either.
RIPIOSASXBL: Jess, whatever. I already booked a flight back for tomorrow. I saw you, I saw some folks. I just don’t have the patience to swim through this crowd. Did you see the line for badge pick up? It was a THREE HOUR wait. We can’t even hang in the Driskill to have our annual glass of wine on a sofa because there a bouncer to get in to this bar. That is not what I want or need in this kind of event.
Me: Oy. Well, I wish you’d consider staying.
RIPIPSASXBL: We have Twitter. And phone. And e-mail. And Skype.
Me (pathetically): We had Sx.
RIPIPSASXBL: Had being the key word.
There was no denying, this year was really different, and for brands trying to cut through clutter during Interactive, they were up against quite a challenge. Although, a few brands like American Express with their Jay-Z concert, and Turntable.FM (client) larger avatar heads roaming the ground stuck out more than most.
And trying not to be a downer and feel the woes of longing for the SXSW of yesteryear, I forced myself to take a few days and really think about why this trip still garnered value. And as cliche and obvious as this is going to sound, it really is all about the incredible people.
Sure, there are more of them, and finding the great ones make take some digging, but with determination and a positive attitude, I walked away with some connections that undoubtedly will afford me with the opportunity to watch those individuals ideas take root and expand into incredible spaces — true to the SXSW promise.
Last night I had the pleasure of entertaining one of my favorite folks from the Seattle social media scene – Kevin Urie. Kevin, the president of Seattle Social Media Club (at least for the next month) is one of those rare finds in the marketing industry. He’s driven by passion, and it’s clear that he loves what he does. Conversations with him are always refreshing and inspiring, thoughtful and rich.
So over drinks I couldn’t help but bring up some industry frustrations to get his thoughts.
Me: I’ve been thinking a lot about our industry direction, and I have to tell you, I’m really tired of haphazardly slapping social media lipstick all over antiquated campaigns.
Kevin: Yeah, I think that’s something we’re all struggling with in marketing. What do you think is going to be the next phase of the industry?
Me: I am just waiting for people to stop selling themselves as ‘social media experts’ and ‘social media agencies’. I want to get to place where the industry thinks about communications plans holistically and their social impact both on and offline.
And after much back and forth, we landed in similar place.
Kevin: I think we’re going to be forced to become more full-shop agencies offering up all services. And only the super niche/boutiquey agencies will continue to live on.
…relieving to hear, as I just recently joined a niche/boutique.
But to his point, I agree. I’ve been saying it for years – why can’t social strategy be a horizontal that is naturally woven in to campaigns and not a vertical offering? Isn’t social media just a marketing tool?
I think it’s time we challenge ourselves to be MORE than just ‘social experts’. It’s time to push ourselves to become GREAT marketers and with that, it naturally means we understand online channels.
What are your thoughts? Is social media still different enough to earn the name as a separate practice?
One of the things I find most interesting about how the digital age how the way we curate, connect and meet relationship and dating prospects has completely shifted. The ideal of girl meets boy in some love-at-first-sight/incredibly romantic way went out the window years ago forcing singletons throughout the universe to seek alternate methods….
…and enter online dating.
And I’d like to consider myself hip-to-the-beat when it comes to the online dating landscape (or at least as hip as you can get pouring over article after article about it and not actually using it, well, except for that one time), but a few weeks ago I was out with some of my friends for a ladies’ night extravaganza when the conversation turned to the New York dating scene.
Girlfriend all over every dating site ever: I just find it really taxing to go on so many dates every.single.week. You’d think with all of the guys in New York, one of these dating sites would caveat it with ‘don’t sign up if you’re a total jerkface.’
Girlfriend on a couple dating sites: I’d have to assume they’d lose their complete database then.
Girlfriend who probably has never even accidentally landed on a dating site: Come on, girls, it can’t possibly be THAT bad.
Me: Well then, what’s the alternative? I guess I’d assume I’d rather know what I’m getting in to in advance, well most of the time, than the random bar guy. Online dating in my mind is a bit more romantic than divey bar dude.
GAOEDSE: That’s because you romanticize online dating.
Me: I do NOT. Okay, well maybe a little. I just find it so interesting.
GOACDS: Then why don’t you actually try it.
Me smirking in response: Ehhh, sounds like a lot of work.
Then, as girls in technology and communications so often do, we broke the silence by pulling out our iPhones, and after a few minutes, GOACDS spoke.
GOACDS: Sooo, I just hit up OKC locals, and I caught one! He said he’s on his way over in a few minutes.
Me: OKC locals?
Clearly I’m not that hip-to-the-online-dating beat.
Exasperated by my ignorance, GAOEDSE responded: Ugh, Jess. Ok Cupid Locals. It’s gives a little bit more context to a casual meetup, because they only serve up people that are recommended matches, AND close to you. And you have to turn on the radar to opt in to it.
The next day I downloaded the app to get a better understanding of what this “Locals” thing was all about.
I’ll admit, I was a little shocked by what this application was capable of procuring. Basically immediate “dating” gratification, and nicely packaging it with the idea that this person I can source (nearly instantly) may have commonalities?
Talk about stepping away from the old romance method. I knew almost instantly this wasn’t the kind of interaction with the opposite gender that I was after, so don’t try and track me down on the OKC Locals scene any time soon.
I guess the truth is, as much as I idolize the online dating scene, I’m still an old-school romantic at heart and I think I’m finally starting to realize that there is not an app for that.
It was more than two years ago when I took the step to pack up my life in Seattle, and pursue a position within Digitas Social. And in my 2+ years here, I learned from the smartest folks in the business, worked on incredible brands, and helped build award winning campaigns.The support from leadership is unparalleled, and the opportunity/support to optimize whitespace endless. It was that leadership, my brilliant colleagues and opportunity which made the decision very challenging.
On Monday, I will begin a new endeavor at a small non-traditional/guerrilla/tech company named Interference Inc.*Supertou.ch to help lead strategic partnership and planning.
It’s a completely different step for me, but after receiving the support of my peers, supervisors, and even CEO, the terrifying elements have been outweighed by my excitement and truly believe it to be the right next step.
I hope to take with me all that I learned and experienced here — the great spirit and big thinking that flows throughout this agency. The skills and passion to make our colleagues, clients, and agency better and better each day.
I don’t think I could ever convey to anyone how much I’ve loved being a part of this agency — thank you Digitasians, for being so great. Cheers to your continued ongoing success, and to my new chapter!
I think you’re all very deserving of an update, which I’ll be giving you in less than 24 hours, but before then I wanted to let you know that I’ve had some challenges with my site as of late (as if that wasn’t obvious).
About six months ago, I had some massive life changes both professionally and personally, and during that same time got in to a rather heated argument with the people at GoDaddy.com. I’ll save you the boring details, but basically I decided I would “stick it to them” by ignoring their pleas to re-up the hosting and server in order to keep my content.
The moral of the story, is they pretty much won. That’s right, I let my time lapse, and for that reason I lost a couple posts (my most recent, basically). Please be patient as I begin to backdate old posts and get those up and running from my files, and if anyone happens to know of a fast way of doing that, let me know.
More to come very, very soon, and I look forward to the dialogue again!
So, first thing is first. I want to apologize for neglecting you all for so long. There has been a lot of moving parts in my life (both professional and personal), that have prevented me from checking in with you all. While I would like to say the dust clouds have settled, there is still a lot more to come in the next few months. I’ll report what I can, when I can.
…But before we get too serious, I thought we may go with something a bit more fun this Friday.
When we think about our “personal brand” (a term that I admittedly don’t love, but I’m yet to come up with a better one) online there are a few things that come to mind:
1. How we communicate. Are we engaging? Responsive? Do we provide valuable/unique insight? Do we curate or aggregate great content? Are we adhering to the 80/20 rule?
2. Our goals. What lasting impact do we want to leave behind? What are our measurable objectives? How are they supporting others?
And finally, #3. The Avatar. I don’t know if you’re like me, but anytime you even start thinking about changing your avatar you feel a tinge of anxiety. Maybe I run a little anxious in general, but it’s an important part of your brand. If no one is going to spend time to read your bio, or scroll through your status updates or tweets, it’s one thing they’ll see on a Twitter-stream drive by (or scroll through), and if it’s alluring, then they may slow down and stop to read.
Mine may be a little too alluring right now, and I’m thinking it may be time for a change.
So what makes a good avatar? After speaking with my dear friends George and Brian last night about this very topic, I think it comes down to three things:
1. Brand Recognition. I think of my friend’s, Chris Pirillo, avatar. I always know his tweets no matter how quickly I’m buzzing through the stream. It’s iconic.
2. Resemblance. I think of Scott Stratten’s avatar. It looks exactly like him, so you’d be able to know who he is if you see him across the room at a conference.
3. Subtext. What’s your avatar trying to say? As I mentioned, it may be time for mine to change, because someone pointed out it’s a little too…..”come hither”? And that’s not necessarily the message I want to convey at all. I mean, I don’t mind if you swing by and say hello, but you know what I mean.
Okay, so here’s the fun part. I propose an AVATAR COMPETITION (based on the list above). Winner will get lots of snaps and such….or maybe I’ll come up with a prize.
So tell me, who has the best avatar?
|
|
Recent Comments